All of the quotations below are FAKE (completely fabricated by myself), and are only intended to be funny!

For anybody who's not yet already 'caught-onto' my twisted sense of humor: I enjoy (as British people say) "taking the piss" out of myself! Life is far too short to be taken too seriously. I often include fake quotations from fictitious sources (as below) on some of my promotional photos, in the hope of making you smile and/or (with any luck) maybe even make you laugh out-loud.

Anybody who's seen me perform live knows that these humorous quotations are NOT true (as supported by my ENDORSEMENTS & Video-TESTIMONIALS), so please enjoy a good laugh: CHEERS!

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